Life Skills
by Atari Atagashi-Chan
Summary: AU Sai and Sakura get assigned to be partners for taking care of their “baby” in college. Sakura’s mother makes Sakura live with Sai during the fourteen days they must keep the baby. SaiSaku


A/N: Er... okay... I REALLY shouldn't be starting new fics while I have the D Files and Turning the Pages and Living Memories and Missed Interpretations AND Aishteru Inu to work on... but...er... yeah. I just couldn't resist making another SaiSaku fic. O! And thank you all (that read the D Files) for two-hundred favs and one-hundred-ninety-something alerts and over one-thousand reviews! Arigato gozaimasu, minna! ("Thank you so much, everyone!"...is what that means...)

Disclaimer: I don't own the Naruto series... but, I own just about every Naruto-related thing! XD

XXX

"Now, everyone," Class seven's teacher instructed during their 'human life' class. "I will be assigning you partners to take care of your babies! These babies will, of course, be fake, but they act identically to the real ones! So, good luck! Now, as I read your name, I will assign you a partner, you can come get your baby, and then the two of you may leave to go discuss any parenting issues you may have. THERE WILL BE ABSOLUTELY NO ARGUING OVER PARTNERS! And, one final thing. You will take care of this baby for two weeks! That means fourteen days, everyone! Alright... ready? Okay... The first pairing will be Hinata and Kiba!"

Everyone smirked as Hinata smiled towards Kiba, who grinned back wolfishly. Everyone knew they would get along just fine...

"Good! Now, next pairing will be Tenten and Neji!"

The two got up silently eyeing each other with interest and went to the front to retrieve their baby. Haruno Sakura sat in the back of the room filing her nails, her feet propped up on the lab desk. All she hoped for was to get stuck with the classes' hottie: Uchiha Sasuke. She smiled at the thought of them being husband and wife.

"Next pairing will be Sakura and-"

'Sasuke, Sasuke, please be Sasuke!' Sakura prayed.

"Sai."

"WHAT!-?" Both classmates stood up at their pairing and screamed at their teacher.

"I SAID THERE WILL BE ABSOLUTELY NO ARGUING OVER PARTNERS!" Their teacher hollered back as a warning. Sakura huffed and glared daggers at the raven-haired teen across the room, who stuck out his tongue childishly and sneered.

"Hmph! Fine!" Sakura growled, trudging to the front of the class and snagging their "baby" from their teacher. Sai marched out of the class behind Sakura, growling cuss words all along the way.

Whence outside their classroom, Sakura spun on her heels and an angry expression met Sai's.

"Listen up and listen now, shannaro!" Sakura growled threateningly. "You're gonna take care of this thing for me, got it?"

"What!-? No way!" Sai growled back. "If you think you're going to get an A by giving me this thing, then you're wrong, because if you make me take care of it, I'll make certain that we both fail!"

Sakura's jaw popped open.

"Ugh! This is why I wanted to be paired with Sasuke!"

"Oh, please... He'd just dump the whole thing on you and go hang with his gang, dumbass!"

"DUMBASS!-? Rrrgh!" With that, Sakura chucked the baby at Sai, who caught it simply out of reflex. It immediately started crying hysterically.

"Oh, great! Now look what you made it do!" Sai yelled, dangling the baby by it's foot. Sakura didn't stop and just trudged all the way back to her house. It was the last period of the day, after all.

XXX

"NO! ABSOLUTELY NOT!" Sakura fumed at her irate mother.

"Yes, Sakura! Or, you'll be grounded for the rest of your college years, young lady!" Sakura's mother growled, pointing an accusing finger in the pink-haired teen's direction.

"But, mom!"

"No but's! You'll be living with Sai for the next fourteen days and you will take care of that doll AND you will get an A plus! Understood?"

Sakura was about to argue, but sighed long and hard, suppressing her anger.

"Wakate..." She growled and marched off to her bedroom to pack her things. "Stupid mother... stupid Sai... stupid project... stupid baby... stupid fourteen days... stupid SUCKY life!" She yelled, slamming the door.

XXX

"Look. I hate this as much as you do, but you could at least speak to me!" Sai yelled at Sakura who had been quiet for the past hour she had been at Sai's house.

"No," She said simply and shut her mouth permanently. Sai sighed.

"You little-"

"WAAAH!" The baby started crying. Sai and Sakura both groaned.

"You take it!" Sai yelled, shoving the baby into Sakura's hands.

"No way! You take it!"

"I don't know what it wants!"

"What makes you think I do?"

"Do I look like a mother to you?"

"Do you want me to answer that truthfully?"

"...never mind... I'll take it..." Sai growled, ending their argument in defeat. He grabbed the baby and tried making silly faces to cheer it up. That didn't work. He tried bouncing it up and down. That only made it worse. He tried burping it. That's when he smelt it. "Er... Sakura...san...?"

"What?"

"I...think it needs it's diaper changed..."

Sakura's eyes shot open.

"IT'S A BOY, SO YOU SHOULD DO IT!" Sakura yelled, blushing furiously. Sai immediately blushed wildly.

"Wha-what!-? N-no! I-er... Let's change it together, okay!-?"

"NO!"

"YES!"

"WAAAAH!" The baby's crying got even louder. Sai and Sakura both groaned.

"Alright... but ONLY this ONE time! Got it!-?" Sakura screamed, yanking Sai and the baby into his bathroom to find the diapers and gloves and masks.

XXX

"Ready?" Sai asked, suited up in a surgical outfit. Sakura, in the same outfit, nodded. Sai nodded back and clicked the prongs he had in his hands. "You hold it down and I'll go in for the kill..." Sai instructed. Sakura did so and Sai began to pry the wet diaper off the baby.

"KIYAAA! IT'S SQUIRTING ME!" Sakura screamed, jumping back. Sai sighed.

"It's only water, baka!"

Sakura blushed and crossed her arms.

"I-I knew that..." She whispered. Sai merely rolled his eyes and continued to pry the diaper away from the baby until it was completely off.

"Er..." Sai blinked, dangling the diaper from the prongs. "What do I do with it...?" He asked, blinking again. Sakura stuck her hands on her hips and shifted her weight to her right leg.

"Do I seriously look like I'd know?" She growled.

"Nn..." Sai growled and decided he'd chuck the wet diaper out the window. All they heard was a crash and a 'get-off-my-lawn-you-crazy-kids!' yelled by some old man. The duo sweatdropped and looked back to the baby. "...now what?"

"Ugh! Give me that!" Sakura shouted, shoved Sai out of the way (landing him directly on the hard tiled floor), and viciously wrapped a new diaper around the baby, stabbing needles into it 'accidentally'. Sai just watched in horror as the baby began to cry and cry and cry some more. Sakura grabbed it and threw it down to Sai, who caught it.

"Hey!" Sai growled and got to his feet. "Alright, Sakura-san! If this is going to work, then you've gotta be a good wife, got it!-? In other words, for the next fourteen days, we've got to put aside our differences, take care of this child, and act like a true husband and wife! Do you ever see your parents acting this naive?"

Sakura thought for a moment, then sighed in defeat.

"Fine..._darling_..." She smirked as she saw Sai's face light up to a bright red color.

"Y-you d-don't have to t-take it th-that f-far!" He stuttered, flailing wildly. Sakura giggled.

"You know, you're not all that bad when you get determined like this... It actually makes you look intelligent!"

"WHAT! What the fu- wait... was that a compliment...?"

"Ne? It was a left-handed compliment, is all!" Sakura winked, grabbed the baby from Sai, and held it up, examining it closely. "Hmm... what should we name him...?"

"Eh? N-name him? Why would we name him?" The raven-haired teen asked, cocking his head. Sakura smiled.

'Wow... Sai kinda looks like Sasuke-kun... I guess I've never realized it because I've never really given him a chance before...hmm... maybe this'll work out after all...' Sakura thought, surprised at her observation. "Well..." She replied, snapping back to reality. "If we're husband and wife... why shouldn't we name him? I mean... your parents named you Sai, just as my parents named me Sakura. All adults do that... it's sort of customary..." Sakura thought for a moment. Why did parents choose names for their babies?

"Well... then, let's name it Hector..." Sai said, blinking unsuredly. Sakura gaped at him.

"Hector!-? Eeeeeew!-! There is no way I'll be having a baby named Hector!"

Sai shrugged.

"Yeah... I figured so..."

"Hmm..." The two thought and thought until, finally one spoke.

"How about..." Sakura started. "Ruu-chama!"

"Eh...? What kind of a name is Ruu?"

"I dunno! I think it's cute!"

"Er... how about something else? Ano... like..."

"Like Sakura Jr!"

Sai sweatdropped.

"Er... gomen, Sakura-chan, but...er... I don't think that'll be quite effective..."

"What do you mean 'effective'?" Sakura cocked her head.

"Er... never mind. How about we name him..."

"Yoshi!"

"Yoshi...?" Sai looked at her like she was a lunatic.

"Yeah! It's a cute name for our cute baby boy!"

Sai blushed bright red and looked to the side.

"O-okay... Yoshi it is..."

Sakura smiled down at him, which just made him blush even harder.

"It's getting late... I'm gonna go feed Yoshi his bottle and then I'm going to put him to sleep. Kay, _darling_?" Sakura knew that would get him. And, she was right. Sai's nose slightly dripped blood as he gasped and ran out of the room. Sakura giggled to herself. It was going to be so much fun teasing him day after day.

XXX

"Oyasuminasai, Yoshi-kun..." Sakura smiled gently and kissed the doll on the forehead as she laid the doll in the specially made crib that Sai had made while Sakura was doing motherly business. She was just glad that it wasn't realistic to the point of nipple-feeding.

She gently closed the door after turning out the lights and went into the dimly lit living room where Sai was sitting silently, staring blankly at the black TV screen in front of him. Sakura paused with a smile, then slowly walked into the room and sat down on the couch next to him, making Sai jump with surprise.

"Yoshi's asleep..." She whispered. Sai merely nodded and looked back to the TV screen. Sakura didn't know what else to say. She didn't like Sai. She liked Sasuke. So, she wasn't that much into trying to ask what was wrong with him. If it was her precious Sasuke, though, it would've been a little different.

"Who's going to take Yoshi tomorrow...?" Sai whispered back. Sakura was surprised to hear him speak and looked over to him.

"Eh?...oh! We have school tomorrow, don't we? Hmm... well, that is a dilemma..." Sakura wondered to herself.

"Well... we do only have four teachers to deal with, seeing as we have block-scheduling, so I don't think it'll be that much've a problem... I suppose I could take him..."

"Eh? N-no! I'll take him! Besides, we have two classes together anyways! Second and fourth block, so I can watch him in the classes I don't have with you and you can watch him during the classes I do have with you. 'Kay?" Sakura smiled, devising her plan. Sai forced a smile back and nodded, looking back to the blank TV screen once more. Sakura cocked her eyebrow, but didn't ask what was wrong. She thought it'd be better not to ask. "Yeah, well... I'm going to bed! Ja, Sai-kun!" She stretched as she got to her feet and walked out of the living room, heading for the guest bedroom. Sai slowly brought his head up and watched as the last whisk of pink hair left his sight. He sighed and got up too.

Slowly, he walked to the bedroom door where Yoshi was and looked inside. A glaze came over his eyes as slight sorrow met his expression.

"Oyasumi... Yoshi-chama..." He closed the door and looked back to the hallway where Sakura had just gone. "Daisuki... Sakura-chan..." He whispered, then trudged to his own bedroom, pausing once to look out at the moon. With a sigh, he opened his door and lay lonely in the dark, knowing there was someone else in the house.

XXX

"Sai-kun! Did you hear that!-?" Sakura rushed to Sai's room and wrenched open the door. She was in silk pajamas that resembled somewhat the texture of a kimono. Sai bolted upright at the sound of her voice as she clicked on the light. He slowly turned to his digital clock and noticed it was two in the morning.

"Hear what, Sakura-chan...? It's two in the-"

"I don't know, but it was scary!" She whined as she leapt onto the bed with Sai and hugged him, burying her head in his chest. Sai blushed bright red. "Waaah! Sai-kun! Go look!-!" She begged. Sai suddenly snapped back to reality and calmly pulled her off him.

"Well... what did it sound like?"

"It sounded like-"

"WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"

"THAT!" Sakura screamed as she clung to Sai once more. Sai blinked, then started laughing. "Huh?" Sakura let go of Sai and knelt back on her legs, putting her hands on her hips. "What's so funny!-?"

"That's just Yoshi! He's crying, Sakura... Come on... Let's go check on him..." Sai laughed. Sakura blushed. She had been scared of their own child.

"Wha-what? Rrrrgh! I-I knew that!" Sakura grumbled as she jumped off the bed and marched to Yoshi's room. Sai followed suit with a smile on his face.

"Yoshi-kun! Mommy's here!" Sakura bellowed as she wrenched open the door. That only made Yoshi scream even louder. Sakura covered her ears and turned to her husband. "Sai! What's wrong with it!-?" She yelled over Yoshi's screaming. Sai shrugged. Sakura growled something under her breath. Sai sighed and walked calmly to the baby.

"Yoshi-kun... it's alright... You're alright now... Mommy and daddy are here, okay?" Sai sung sweetly as he picked Yoshi up and cradled him in his arms. Sakura watched with amazement as Yoshi slowly stopped crying and went back to sleep within a matter of minutes. Sai turned back to Sakura after putting Yoshi back and stuck out his tongue. Sakura opened her mouth to say something, but closed it as Sai smiled sweetly and pranced past her dominantly. Sakura twitched with annoyance as Sai went back to his room. "Now, be a good mommy and go back to sleep..." Sai sung with a laugh as he closed his door.

"Ugh! The nerve of him!" Sakura growled, clenching her fists. She spun on her heels and marched back to her own bedroom.

Getting into bed, the two both thought the same thing.

'Tomorrow will sure be different...'

XXX

A/N: Woohoo! FINALLY finished! XD I kept stopping and starting and stopping again because I kept getting interrupted and...yeah. XD PLEASE review! And, yes. I KNOW I should be working on the D Files and that I didn't do my Saturday update, but, yeah... All you D Files fans? Sorry... XD I promise I'll update today! Well, yeah. Ja ne! (Feel free to ask me about the japanese words if you don't understand...)

DISCLAIMER: My sister (Sora no Hairo Yuki) thought up the name Yoshi. We were having breakfast today and you don't even want to know how many names we went through before we came to Yoshi...XD lawl... REVIEW!

P.S. I'M MAKING THIS INTO A NARUSASU YAOI!-! The first chapter will be slightly the same but the story line will be WAY different. I'm keeping this fic at a teen rating and it'll just basically be all fluff, ect... BUT, my yaoi -evil laugh- shall DEFINATELY be rated mature for smutty sex scenes between Naruto and Sasuke! MUAHAHA! XD Don't worry... it'll be somewhat like 'Turning the Pages' (which is very -ahem- mature... X3) If you like yaoi, then put me on author alert, (seeing as my profile isn't working...)


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